Doesnt jokes
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.