Doesnt jokes

Cookie

    • Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

    1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

    2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

    Head

    • How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

    Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

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    • Boss

    • When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

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    • Fly

    • If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

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    • Halloween

    • Hey guys, I have a question.

    Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?

    Gift

    • A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.

    The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"

    The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."

    The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

    The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."

    The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"

    The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

    The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

    The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."

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    • Rape

    • A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

    She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

    Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

    He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

    Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

    Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

    WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

    I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

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    • Trophy

    • How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

    Hairline

    • There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

    On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

    So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

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    • Kid

    • Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

    Kid: “Whatever!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

    Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

    Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

    Kid: “Oh well!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

    Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

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    • Mama

    • Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

    Parent

    • Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

    Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

    Tell it to your parents and friends!

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