Doesnt jokes
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”