DOE jokes

People

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

Love

1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.

Woman

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Skeleton

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?

Emo

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

Rifle

What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?

They both go "Ping" when they are done.

Depression

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.