DOE jokes
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. đ
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
Does that dick match that forehead? đ
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldnât go straight.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? âIf we donât get some support, people will think weâre nuts.â
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
How does a rapper stay cool?
He drops some ICE in his rhymes.
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Whatâs Whitney Houstonâs favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Whatâs better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I donât know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!