DOE jokes

Kid

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

Daughter

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

Gangster

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Pig

Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?

Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂

Sex

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.

Baby

GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Dog

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.

Call

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

Hooker

How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

Card

What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?

You can't even deal with it!