DOE jokes
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
How does a rapper stay cool?
He drops some ICE in his rhymes.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!