DOE jokes
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.