Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb? None. Feminists can't change anything.
What does michael jackson and santa clause have in commen? They both let little kids sit on his lap
Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage
How many babys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common? They both died with red rings
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What kind of car does yoda drive. A toyoda
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
What does Mrs Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin kids.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate.......
What does michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding feminists can’t change anything
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
What shampoo does stephen hawkings use? Head & Shoulders
Where animal does Russian milk come from?
moscows
