DOE jokes
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Memes
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.