DOE jokes
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.