DOE jokes

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.

What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs! 😈🥚

Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.

Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None. Feminists can't change anything.

What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.