DOE jokes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.