Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
