DOE jokes
Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work.
Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words.
ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone.
Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too.
Watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression.
These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
A girl walks into the church and confesses.
Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "He held my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."
Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."
Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."
Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)
Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"
Priest: "Then what?"
Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."
Priest: "That son of a bitch!"
What does LMAO mean?
Launching missiles at orphanage.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
What does BLM stand for?
Biden loves millennials.
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."