DOE jokes
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
quit comical
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A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.