DOE jokes
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.