DOE jokes

What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

What song does an orphan hate?...

"I'm so lonely."

How does Moses brew his coffee?

He brews it.

What does a bird say when it gets sick?

I flu!

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?

"Dance to the beet, y'all!"

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?

He can't do stand-ups.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

At a second-hand store.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?

1979.

What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?

A fossil.

How does a skeleton kill a bug?

They SOCKET!

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?

A: Kittens.

Why does everyone like couch jokes?

Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!