DOE jokes
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
What does a house wear? Address.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.