Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
DOE Jokes
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
