A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"
imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "you have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Why did the monkey 🐒 take his banana 🍌 to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo"
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
i work on medicine my jod is to smell it to see if its bad :)
what do you call a doctor that's a skeleton? doctor bones
why did go to the chiropractors? to get his spine fixed
Patient: doctor every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up what's wrong with me? Doctor: I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
Patient: where are you taking me, doctor? Doctor: the morgue Patient: hang on! I'm not dead yet! Doctor: and we're not there yet!
Don’t say stay positive to the wrong doctor
Meat stands for M-monitoring. E-evaluating. A-assessing/addressing. T-treatment. So when your shoving meat up peoples asses then your monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom. Thank you nurse.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body and all that's left I'm afraid is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Why should you never tell your french doctor that you bite your tongue? because your french doctor will give you a tetanus shot
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
As a doctor myself, there nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
a doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to him self this is wrong but some doctors do it... he is a vet
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe. Me: you should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste
