I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor
Because parents signature
A man walks into a doctors office, Naked Wrapped in Gland Wrap.
The doctor reply’s with:
“I can clearly see your nuts”
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A Fizzician.
Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents
Doctor: You should stop masturbating. Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia? The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
got kicked out of the hospital cause i told all the Covid-19 patents to stay positive.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery...
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while. I said that I have been ill
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimers". The old guy replies "At least I've not got cancer".
I went to the eyedoctor and I couldn't read. they showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
