Disease jokes
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk? Nothing... she couldn't tell.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
What is mad cow disease?
Stand? Wait. No.
I hate school
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.