Have you heard about the new russian std? Rottsmikokov
What’s the most common name for cancer patients
Luke (lukemia)
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I 1 of triplets. I don't understand how funny rape jokes are and they don't just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die, so you are just wrong about that!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks, the best part is when it kills people
history teacher: They had a temporary cure for the disease , but it would be years before the found a cure for life. Student: I need that.
How do skeletons get COVID? From the coffin!
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN’S JOKES are the disease
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies. It's a canariel disease, untweetable .
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare
Why is there no medication in Africa? Because doctors advised you don't take it on an empty stomach.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back? Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked. “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?” He replied, “Yes I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WebMD: Cancer.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other "What do you think about that mad cow disease". The other replies "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole.".
How do you die from alzheimers? You forget how to breath.
What has kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common? They will never grow up.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
