Disease jokes
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.