Disease jokes
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.