Discovery jokes

How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?

Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

Water was found on Mars.

Mars: 1 Africa: 0

Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?

Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........

Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.