Discovery jokes

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?

Nemo was eventually found.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

What the heck did I discover?

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

NASA just found evidence of water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

TV: Water found on Mars...

Mars: 1

Africa: 0

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!