Discovery jokes

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.

I found this at school.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

My family is like a treasure.

You need a map and shovel to find them.

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Do you know what I found in my letter soup? A space.