Disaster

Disaster jokes

Puppy

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Titanic

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

Spot

You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.

Twin Towers

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.

Memes

Rose

Roses are red,

my life is a disaster,

the children are fast,

but the combine is F A S T E R!

Twin Towers

What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

Hurricane

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Orphan

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

Birthday

What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?

Party crashers.

People

You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

9/11

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Titanic

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.