Disaster jokes

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

What did the tower say to the other?

"Man, someone's on fire today!"

Ur next.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

What is black and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking's after a fire.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?

It was 9/10.

A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.

Roses are red,

my life is a disaster,

the children are fast,

but the combine is F A S T E R!

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.

You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.