What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
Disaster Jokes
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!