Disappearance jokes
This is for all of the men.
What do you call a penis that disappears? A Magic Johnson.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.
Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.
"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."
The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.
"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"