What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
