Difference jokes
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!