Difference jokes

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?

It's white and it's brown.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?

The word "art."

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?

When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What's the difference between a casino and a church?

You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.