Difference jokes

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?

It's white and it's brown.

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.