Difference jokes
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
Your face.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!
"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"
I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.