Difference jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.