Difference jokes
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.