Difference jokes

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?

About 3 years.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.