Difference jokes

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between Twitter and this website?

There's no difference.

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

One held its balance, the other two fell.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?

A phone has a home button.

What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?

Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.