Difference jokes

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.