Difference jokes
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.