Difference jokes
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
One has a home.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.