Difference jokes

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?

At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?

There is no difference.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?

A feminist has hair.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.