Difference jokes

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.

What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One to trust and the other to thrust.