Difference jokes

What's the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at 3 hoes.

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.