Difference jokes
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
corporate wants u to tell the difference
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.