How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

What’s the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

A Mirror and a terrorist are the same… Only… A mirror doesn’t need a gun to kill …

What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

School and boot camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don’t have to get deployed to get shot at

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

Grammar: It’s the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid

Depends who’s shooting

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

what is the difference between the rook and the bishop the rook goes straight while the bishop f...s the kids

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.