What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

What’s the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.

pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…?

The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

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