Difference jokes

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?

Being a genius has its limits.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?

one has a point.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

It's easy to roast beef.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.