How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim
