How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
