Difference jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

What's the difference between a man and a table?

The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.

What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.