Difference jokes
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.