Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

you might be

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

What’s the difference between cake and pie

πr2, cake are round

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What’s the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass

What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

what the difference betwenn a feminist and Kim Jong un? Kim jong un has rights

What’s the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

Whats the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls

What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

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