Difference jokes
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.