Difference jokes

What's the difference between a duck?

One of its legs are both the same!

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

What's the difference between a bird and jam?

You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.

What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)

What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?

The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?

My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?

Absolutely nothing.

What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?

A fetus has more rights.

What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?

They both talk like they're on fent.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?

What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.