Difference jokes
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?
What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.