Difference jokes
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.