Die jokes
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---