Die jokes
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
Why did Stephen Hawkins die? They unplugged the WiFi.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.