Die jokes

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.

My grandpa died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.

Why did Steward die in the toilet?

He saw his Undercut in the mirror.

Why are there gates on a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get inside. Lol

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Note to all.

My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

These jokes make me want to die.