Die jokes
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
You die. LOL!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
My dog died.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Juice WRLD died a legend. Making these jokes won't get you anywhere. Grow up.
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!