Die jokes
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
So accurate
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?