Die jokes
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
I want to die.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
My dad died lol.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.