Die jokes
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"