Die jokes
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.