Didnt jokes
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Why did the Titanic sink? It's because they didn't want the icebergs' candy.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a homepage though.