Didnt jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.