Dick's jokes

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?

They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.

Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

My dick harder than stone, man.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

My name is Big Dick.

It turns into ligma.

Brother: What's ligma?

Big Brother: Ligma dick!

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.

What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?

The more you play with them, the harder they get.

How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?

That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.