Dick's jokes
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.