Dick's jokes
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
Dick butt.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Your penis is literally BLUE!
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.