Dick jokes
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."