Dick jokes
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.