Dick jokes

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.

In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."

Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."

Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.

He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.