Dick jokes
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
My dick said that your ass is having a boner.