Dick jokes
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
How do you shrivel a dick?
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Suck my dick!
(Ron Jeremy)
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!