Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Desire Jokes
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
You're really sexy 😉
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
I'm hungry.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
