Desire jokes

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

She really wanted a boner.

I raped a girl and I liked it.

I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.

It felt so wrong, it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

I like strippers on me.

I'm horny and gay.

Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

Guy 1: Don't you?

Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

**Meow...**

Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

I want your weight, not your phone number.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!